What is Selfless-ness


While I was listening to a friend complain about buying too much stuff, these random thoughts about selfish-ness and selfless-ness crawled into my mind. This youtube video

 provoked the thought of selfless-ness so I wondered what is selfless-ness. Does it mean that you do whatever other ask for? or does it mean you would do something caring without someone asking for it (even if it’s this, i wouldn’t call it selfless because in reality you are getting emotional satisfaction from doing something caring)?

I witnessed too many incidents where nice people are always taken advantaged of. Perhaps, it’s wrong to think this way. Perhaps, in the long term it’s not loosing but a gain. I’m just curious! Some people are consistently  asking for services, for material needs and etc… and people would just give give give. How does it work? This is essentially like the parasitic relationship where only one benefits and the other looses — Except the one loosing is clueless about it. I wonder why does this exist. Is it like this animal-animal relationship where the bigger animal has enough reserves that the parasitic relationship does not really effect them. Or is it a mutual beneficial relationship in disguised? It’s interesting. Is this like the the “gold digger” philosophy: where one can just ask and the sugar papa/mama would just provide. I find it odd. Maybe it’s because I never grew up with this culture.

BUT,  I wonder, I really wonder why can’t more people do something for humanitarian reasons? (would this be self-less?  It doesn’t have to be big things, it can be something miniscule! i.e like sending a sms to brighten someone’s day or a friendly greeting to someone you pass by on the streets. This reminds me of a conversation that I had with my pops. It was an issue about Money and Friendship. While I was growing up I really believe that friendship was something that Money can’t buy and Money can’t break. I still do believe in it but not as strong. One thing I do realize when you start working is that Money does have a lot of Power… Power to create and destroy connections, relationships…etc. It’s scary what Money can do.

Survival (aka money) is important but can we add a grain or perhaps tablespoons of humanity. I like businesses but why is it so cut-throat to maximize profit? Sometimes I get lost in this competition. Then I wonder, what is something I can do that can incorporate survival needs and humanity. Is this why I choose to pursue a career in the healthcare sector?

Selfless-ness. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing to have too much of it. Perhaps, a little less selfish-ness first?  I see people who give and volunteer hours after hours and forget about their own life. Are these people define as selfless? But wouldn’t selfless-ness be harmful in terms of survival? I really like the idea of Confucius’s teaching on how one should take care of yourself before taking care of others. It’s balance. Whether it’s selflessness or selfishness, maybe the midpoint between both is what I should aim for? Is that even possible?

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